Hi, you’ve reached text support. How can we reassure you with inappropriate jokes today?
Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 6:43AM Another text conversation between myself and FoN….
(if you’re wondering, yes, we do actually talk on the phone. But she was in Vancouver.)
Me: I got a really quick call-back from the doc on my gall bladder ultrasound. It’s freaking me out.
FoN: Don’t freak out. Gall bladder surgery is no big deal and really common. For an 80-year-old.
FoN: When’s your follow-up appointment?
Me: Wednesday. Expect doom and gloom until then. Are you home yet?
FoN: Just waiting to board my plane. That I’m pretty sure is going to crash and kill me.
Me: Are you trying to one-up my doom and gloom, or is the weather bad?
FoN: Just trying to be supportive.
Me: Lol. Thanks. Don’t feel obliged to MAKE the plane go down just to distract me though. You’ll be dead and I’ll still have a liver tumor.
FoN: Liver tumor, huh? Let’s go get SUPER drunk. Then if the next day your abdomen hurts more than your head, you can worry.
Me: Or maybe a fetus that died in utero and then ossified. I think I saw that on TLC. Or maybe CSI.
FoN: Cool. Think they’ll let you keep it?
Me: After they dig it out of me with sharp sticks and no anesthesia, probably.
FoN: I’m almost positive they will give you anesthesia.
Me: They’ll probably leave bits of stick in me, though.
FoN: Then your fossilized dead fetus will have something to play with.
Me: I may have to blog this conversation again.
FoN: I would expect nothing less.
Keely | 16 Comments
Reader Comments (16)
Well, shit, now I'm worried too. The one plus of surgeries to remove organs is that you then have less parts to which bad things can happen.
Also, zombies. The zombies are coming to reclaim their ossified fetus. (Sorry, just trying to switch your focus for a bit.)
Don't let a little thing like ossified fetus in the liver get you down! Follow the SUPER drunk plan for happiness and all will work out swimmingly.
And good luck with the gall bladder.
Bwahahah...wait...breathe....bwahahah! This cracked me up!
Getting super drunk is pretty much the best solution to any/all problems. I approve.
Good luck with the gall bladder - had mine out in April.
The rest of the conversation was hilarious in a warped and twisted fun kind of way. You are going to be just fine. :)
It's good you all have an open relationship for talking about gross and potentially horrific things. I like that in a family. ;-)
That beats any of my text conversations. Mine usually go something like this:
Boy: Mom, when are you going to be home
Me. Don't know, why?
Boy: Just wondering when dinner will be. BTW, what is for dinner
Me: Don't know. What are you making?
Boy: hahahaha
I didn't hear that a place went down in Canada so I guess FoN got home okay.
This post really made me miss Captain Dumbass so I emailed him. (don't ask my thought process, just go with it).
This is totally me and Jodi.
What do you think would happen if the little stick bits started to grow.
And I just emailed Kat back.
Fossilized huh?? Ha!! And the sticks are a nice visual touch if I do say so myself!! And Fon is right...gall bladder is nothing...happens to those who are 50 and fat!! At least that is what they told me when mine acted up. I thanked the nurse for her kindness!!!!!
Then one week later...had my gall bladder out. No worries!!
Hugs
SueAnn
It was discovery channel. Saw the same one.
You can't eat any of the things the gall bladder helps you digest, I'm pretty sure. So, for you, it's like your tonsils. Useless. Besides, it they take it out you'll weigh less, right?
It's great to have a friend like that! You two are lucky :)
Didn't Carl have some kind of prize for the first person to have their gall bladder removed?
Good lord, this is the best post of all the posts in the land I've read in ages!! I had to read it to my husband because I burst out laughing as soon as the focus switched to a fossilized fetus. Ahh, I love that people other than me have a sense of humor about such things...
This totally made me smile.